Common Ground • Finding the Words
About This Episode
Last week, I joined dozens of university leaders as they honed skills to navigate political conflict on campus. It was a preventative measure, really, to support their soon-to-return students through the remainder of this election season, and to help one another maintain open and peaceful dialogue across contested issues.
We learned a very powerful lesson.
This short-form episode is part of the Finding The Words column, a series published every Wednesday that delivers a dose of communication insights directly to your inbox. If you like what you read, we hope you’ll subscribe to ensure you receive this each week.
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Last week, I joined dozens of university leaders as they honed skills to navigate political conflict on campus. It was a preventative measure, really, to support their soon-to-return students through the remainder of this election season, and to help one another maintain open and peaceful dialogue across contested issues.
The session started with each participant submitting one word about how it feels to enter into political conversations. Slowly, a virtual word cloud started to form on the large conference room screen:
Anxious, Curious, Tense, Uncomfortable,
Nervous, Guarded, Scared, Avoidant,
Anxious,
Anxious,
Anxious.
When discussing contested issues, it can be hard to find common ground. And it can often feel easier to avoid than to understand.
That's why I found such resonance and hope in John Paul Lederach's latest work,"The Pocket Guide for Facing Down a Civil War:Surprising Ideas From Everyday People Who Shifted The Cycles of Violence."
Lederach is a renowned peacebuilding leader who has engaged with peace processes around the world for four decades. In his latest book, available as a free download on his site, he offers practical insights grounded in global experience to help readers navigate and address the conflicts we face in our communities and country. John Paul gives context, structure, and a frame for finding common ground, and for re-investing in the power of "improbable dialogue."
As he wrote in a powerful Washington Post op-ed last week:
"With our current divides, many people feel forced into choosing sides. We pull back from relationships where even a hint of political difference exists. We consider who said something and whom they associate with to judge the merit of what they said. We talk a lot about those we don’t like. We rarely talk with them. To feel safer, we engage only with people who agree with us...achieving and sustaining an end to conflict requires a web of people who, despite their differences, are willing to confront the forces of violence where they live. They suggest a way forward for us."
John Paul so effectively says what so many of us feel:
When it comes to discussing contested issues, it can be hard to find common ground. And it can often feel easier to avoid than to understand.
Choose to understand.
Because as John Paul teaches us, some of the most revolutionary acts we can take to improve our social fabric are also the most simple.
Practice humanizing habits.
Refuse to belittle others.
Listen to understand.
Speak about your own deep convictions without blame, retreat, or demonization.
Stay curious about people’s lived experiences, especially when different from yours.
Notice when you become defensive.
Choose reflection over reaction.
Practice patience and humility.
And, as John Paul also reminds us, never doubt the power of better conversations.
Please read and share the pocket guide and op-ed, and consider how these ideas might be applied and amplified within your network. If you're interested in learning more from John Paul, using his work in your community, or inviting him to speak, simply reply to this note. I'd be happy to help make that connection.
Read and the op-ed: “A recipe for cooling down American politics.”
Consider rating and reviewing the guide on Amazon to help extend its reach
This post is part of the Finding The Words column, a series published every Wednesday that delivers a dose of communication insights direct to your inbox. If you like what you read, we hope you’ll subscribe to ensure you receive this each week.
