Your Body Language is Talking Even When You Aren't.
This article is part of Finding the Words, a newsletter that delivers practical insights on the day’s issues.
It’s been more than four years since the world went into a global lockdown for COVID-19 and more than four years since millions turned to a little videoconferencing platform called Zoom to stay connected.
In-person meetings moved to video meetings. Phone calls moved to video calls. Even texts moved more regularly to Facetime.
Four years later, those daily strings of Zoom meetings haven’t quite reverted to phone calls. Instead, our norms of gathering have changed. (How about this fact: 300 million meetings happen daily on the platform, according to Zoom.)
We’ve become accustomed to spending some portion of our days with a camera pointed at us. Yet, for as many hours as we spend on camera, it's a remarkably common experience to struggle with how to appear on screen, convey confidence, and earn trust in the absence of a face-to-face connection.
Furrowed brow? Expect your audience to perceive you as confused.
Fidgeting hands? You’ll appear unsure and not confident.
Darting Eyes? Are you distracted?
Quick blinking? You may be stressed or anxious.
It takes less than seven seconds for people to judge your confidence, competence, professional status, and warmth. The “little signals” our bodies send on digital platforms can translate into big signals for our audience.
While face-to-face meetings offer more opportunities to make a first impression (such as shaking hands or meeting someone eye-to-eye), video conferencing often falls short. However, it doesn’t need to, if you know how to use digital body language to your advantage.
If it’s been a while since you checked in on your digital body language, consider five of my favorite tips:
1. Start with a smile.
According to Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D., humans produce about 50 different kinds of smiles based on our mood, but only one kind of smile matters when presenting: the real kind. Real, authentic smiles light up the entire face. Your eyes open wider and your expressions are more visible. When a smile is real, it acts like a mirror, eliciting a real smile in your audience too. So, to make your audience feel comfortable and positively respond to your presentation, start with your own positive expression.
2. Brighten up that background.
We’ve become accustomed to using blurred or virtual backgrounds, though they often don't contribute to the brightness we experience when meeting someone in person, perhaps in a well-lit conference room or public space. However, the brighter the space behind you, the better people can see you. And when we can have an unobstructed view of one another, we have a greater chance of being able to see one another—a critical factor in building trust. Consider turning off your virtual background and turning up the light in front of you. It will help your audience feel a deeper connection to you.
3. Lower your vocal pitch.
The pitch of your voice is important when communicating confidence and control of your content. According to recent research, we tend to speak in higher-pitched voices when we are intimidated, unsure, or lacking confidence. So, if you don’t want to signal this impression, lower your pitch. To practice lowering or “grounding” your pitch, start with a good deep breath. Take a deep breath in and expand your diaphragm, while engaging your core by holding in your abdominal muscles. Then, speak from that newly found space of supported confidence. Pro Tip: Speaking from your diaphragm will also eliminate any nervous energy you may be experiencing and allow you to speak longer without feeling winded or out of breath.
4. Sit up straight.
When conducting meetings from a desk chair, try planting your feet firmly on the ground. Doing so may require that you sit on the edge of your seat, which has a second benefit: your back can’t touch the back of your chair. With feet firmly planted and back upright, you can keep your head straight, maintain good posture, and feel more sure of yourself. (On the contrary, a tilted head and crouched shoulders signal uncertainty, doubt, and insecurity.)
5. Maintain positive eye contact.
Eye contact is essential in nonverbal communication but difficult to maintain when our cameras have different placements. I may be looking right at your Zoom box, but my eyes are looking down versus appearing as if I am looking at you. Maintain eye contact (or make it appear as if you are) by looking as closely as possible into your camera. Try lowering the monitor camera slightly so that your eyes are positioned straight ahead or just a touch higher, and your head is toward the top of your Zoom box. And, one more Pro Tip: if your eyes are looking close to the top of your computer screen, they will also appear more open, which makes you appear more attentive and focused, sending positive signals to your audience.
Bottom line: 93% of what we communicate is nonverbal, so the little things we communicate through our bodies make a big difference to our audience. Use your body, tone, and the instrument that is your voice to help convey confidence, trust, and engagement to your audience. It may never be as good as face-to-face communication, but good digital body language can do wonders to bridge physical divides.
This post is part of the Finding The Words column, a series published every Wednesday that delivers a dose of communication insights direct to your inbox. If you like what you read, we hope you’ll subscribe to ensure you receive this each week.
